We agonized for months, for most of the previous school year and most of the summer. To kindergarten or not to kindergarten? So many factors at play, so many things to consider. So much back and forth. We consulted family members, friends, parents, teachers, and even a child psychologist (who may have showed his cards too early!). Everyone we talked to had their own opinions on what was the right choice, but in the end, only we could make the decision for our son.
The first of likely many tough choices, with seemingly no right answer, but potentially life-changing consequences.
A boy with a June birthday. Most people I talked to made it seem like a no brainer to hold him back. He had way too much energy to sit still for a full seven hour day at the mere age of 5. And I didn’t want to put undue expectations on him and set him up for failure. But at the same time, I didn’t want him to be BORED at preschool, as we’d already seen that becoming too familiar and comfortable in his surroundings could lead to behavior problems.
But would his behavior hold out for a full day of kindergarten? And also, he is a big kid. He’s tall. Super tall. The youngest boy in his 4-year-old preschool class, he already towered over all the other kids in the class. He’d only be that much bigger if he entered as a 6-year-old. But then again, when did height become a deciding factor for when to go to kindergarten? Should sports be a consideration? Should I hold him back and give him a potential edge in sports? Was that fair?
There was also a baby on the way. Selfishly, I knew it would definitely be easier to have him in kindergarten all day and only have his little brother and the new baby to focus on during the day. But then, should I hold him back because the baby might be a huge adjustment and cause behavioral regressions? I shouldn’t make this decision because of the new baby, but at the same time, I shouldn’t not factor in the baby? All these questions were running through my head and I literally couldn’t make a decision.
So I decided to further explore my options.
We went ahead with the private school application process. We visited a private school open house, started applying, did a kindergarten screening, and also had him assessed by a child psychologist.
Based on these steps, we had actual concrete evidence of our son’s level of kindergarten readiness. Academically, he would likely be successful in kindergarten, but there were several areas identified, such as fine motor skills, that could definitely benefit from another year of preschool/kindergarten prep. Another year could help him work through some of his emotional regulation issues, give him more practice with impulse control, and allow him to mature a bit before more demands are placed on him. He could go ahead and start kindergarten at 5 and likely be just fine, or like the kindergarten screener said, we could give him the gift of time and allow him to thrive. When she put it that way, I finally was able to accept and feel at peace with what I knew all along.
Waiting until 6 was the right choice. Now this will be his last summer before kindergarten, and I have absolutely no qualms about it. He is ready, and I know he will thrive. Kindergarten, here we come!
