This is pretty ridiculous. I got married on my parent’s wedding anniversary and even have the date on our license plate. Yet today, I looked at my husband and said, “Oh my gosh, what is the date?”
Our daughter replied, “I think it is the 20th.”
“Oh, crap! Our anniversary is in three days!”
There was no hiding I forgot; I completely outed myself as soon as I realized the date. My husband busted out laughing, “Welp. There’s marriage for you.”
The truth of the matter, our anniversary date got away from him, also.
There was no planning of dinner and chocolates or romantic gestures. There was the simple realization that we both overlooked the upcoming date in the midst of the ins and outs of life.
Unlike the television shows depicting offended spouses, neither of us cared. We found it incredibly entertaining we both forgot. Our kids observed us laughing at it. We briefly reminisced of the years we’d been married and moved on to finishing our morning clean-up. No plans have been made yet.
There is no doubt in my mind my husband is the man I was always destined to marry; he complements each aspect of my existence. Where I am apprehensive, he is friendly; where I freeze, he is warm; where I plan too much, he is spontaneous; where I get inundated, he gets to work. Surface level inventory of each of us reveals opposites: his Pantera to my Jack Johnson, his scary movies to my comedy, his Venom to my Audrey Hepburn, his running to my swimming, his guitar to my writing.
Despite these contrasts, the deepest parts of our souls always lined up. As long as I have known him, he provided a sense of acceptance in my shortcomings, even admiration for the human element. There’s never been a single moment I felt anything but safe in his presence. Above all, he has provided a matching of our most genuine values in a way I never assumed could be.
I don’t suspect our anniversary will prove anything spectacular: it is COVID-season, to start, mixed with work and school days. The thing is, it is the perfect symbolism of our marriage – it never had to be flashy and overdone; it just needed to be real.
As I watch my husband prepping dinner while I write, putting away laundry without me mentioning it, running with our daughter to help cross-train her in sports, buying little gifts for a baby we nanny, and going out of his way to encourage our son’s interests in EDM, I know the very best anniversary present is simply sharing these days with him. The gift of our marriage is the love and laughter we have in the mundane, in the “just because.”
If your anniversaries are over-the-top celebrations, cool. You do you. However, if you find you have totally forgotten, and so has your spouse, you don’t need to beat yourself up. You may be witnessing the life you have together is in itself a testimony to love. With kiddos around and the complexity of this year, find the value in walking beside each other, sharing experiences and daily life.
For what it is worth: To my husband, happy anniversary (late). Thank you for forgetting with me. I unquestionably and utterly love you.
