I ran across a quote the other day that began a conversation between my husband and I that I believe many families would find a connection in their own stories as well.
“I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: Dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.” – Anna Quindlen
We intentionally chose a “family spring” schedule where sports are on a break and we have more flexibility and opportunity to be fluid in the way we operate throughout our week. Our fall season is full of sports schedules and working on weekends, and our margin is tighter on things that we can say yes or no to within the week.
This began the conversation on what it looks like to choose family margin, self-care and togetherness, in and out of the changing seasons.
This season has given us the perspective to see things that help us thrive in our investments together and we noted down areas that we want to carry into our busier season, as well, to cultivate our connections.
These four different areas can be built within your week together, depending on what kind of season you are in within your capacity of investment, margin and time. We say often that if we can mention it, then we can manage it. This leads us to family meetings once a week to identify the investments of our week as we intentionally write things down on our schedule to prioritize our family connection time before we say yes to anything else.
I’m sharing with you four of the areas we cultivate for family connection, no matter the season.
Meals: Choose sit down, table time together.
Sharing meal time together can be innovative on what your table looks like, as it may be a sit-down dinner, on the road, at the park, or in the car, but it’s about giving the expectation to pause and to listen to one another while sharing food time together. It’s about the pause together over the logistics of what it looks like that will give you the reward.
This is the one that alters within our changing seasons on what it looks like, yet we are learning more rhythms centered on this place of togetherness. We love time in the kitchen where we can slowly make meals, with our favorite playlists playing, and it can feel like a fun experience to try out recipes together. The seasons where dinner is either at 4:30 p.m. or 9 p.m. can feel quite daunting in what to actually feed our family, so in those seasons, we shift and have flexibility each week on where that time is plugged in.
In those seasons, we shift and do more morning breakfast time together in a different kind of way. For you, meal sharing may look like a picnic in the park where you pick up dinner, bring it to the practice fields and eat in the car together before everyone spreads to their practices. It’s more about the intention to communicate that hearing your story today matters to me, and I am going to give you space to share your experience in your day. The changing seasons is a way your family can practice some creativity in what that looks like.
Moderation: Set limits on phone presence and technology time.
Allow yourself to take an assessment on what is filling up your time when you are home together and choose limitations on things that distract you from quality investment time.
We are all human, so, naturally, we are all going to have different kinds of days and our varying personalities are going to need different things within a day. Your need to refuel in ways that meet you has a place for self-care. We give space for individual needs and also for family refuel times and it is in those areas where moderation is a gift. You may feel rest when you are active and moving, where another may feel rest when they are quiet and slow. Having designated times within your day when family members are present together takes creating a rhythm where technology is logged off and unavailable and interactions together are the focus. Once you cultivate the rhythm of this expectation, it becomes easier to protect that time and give it priority investment in your days.
Movement
Set time on your calendar for active rest. The activity list changes within the varying seasons, but we set it as intentional investment time on our schedule every week. Brett and I invest in individual movement time during the week, but we found that scheduling out family intentional time models consistency that we value.
Brett and I have a weekly meeting on Sundays where we talk about what we are carrying emotionally and identify what we need in those places. This helps us look at our week with intention for what we say yes and no to on our calendar. We have found that active movement is part of our mental wellness and support, so we began making it a weekly priority to do it as a family and it’s been a strengthening YES. To give you some examples of what it looks like on our calendar, it may look like walking the dog together (shorter in duration), taking an adventure hike, paddle boarding, family kickball game, trick shot challenges, etc.
Meditation
Cultivating a daily rhythm of learning the power of pause will strengthen your mind for the things that you are carrying every week.
This area touches back on the moderation space of thought where you take time to assess what is sourcing your energy. In life, we walk through hard chapters and celebratory ones, where you may be left exhausted or rejuvenated. Waking up early and giving meditation time, without technology distractions, is a big source of energy for our minds and our spirits. Taking meditation walks where we don’t listen to music or podcasts and just listen and learn from what our mind is processing at that moment has guided us to receive a right now moment pursuit. Your meditation time may be at night at the end of the day, where you play peaceful music and lay still with the impact from your day and you release the things you cannot control as you face what is coming in tomorrow. It’s about cultivating an ebb and flow of listening to yourself and identifying what feels heavy or light in you and giving it time to sit and speak grace in your steps.
May these areas give you a place to create foundational practices of replenishment for you and your crew, no matter the season.
