Last year, I got divorced and I have written about this a lot in the past. It was trying, for sure, but it didn’t stop me from meeting a man I call my husband, today. We got married in March 2023 and since then, have spent a lot of time working together to blend our family.
He has a son from a previous marriage, who is 7 years old and I have three kids, including 5-year-old twins and a 4-year-old boy. He has his son 100% of the time and I have my kids about half the time. Despite being a mother to three children, I will say it has been an adjustment for me to become a stepmother.
Even the word stepmother is taboo (thanks, Cinderella).
Of course, I am not evil, but I am human. I have done the very best I can to adapt to becoming a stepmother, but it hasn’t been perfect. I am still learning when to use my mom voice with him and whether to say yes or no when dad isn’t present. I know what I would do with my own children, but how do I handle a discipline matter with a child that is learning to trust me?
Luckily, I hit the jackpot with my stepson, as he is a good listener and is very kind to me. For all intents and purposes, he could tell me to back off because I am not his “real” mother; however, he has never made me feel like that and I am grateful.
In addition, I not only am parenting a child I just met within the last year, but I am watching my current husband parent my children. This is a really interesting process for me, as I know what the children are used to, and my husband is new to them. My husband and I parent differently, one not better than the other, so I can see them having to adapt to a new style of parenting – and I worry a lot. I want them (us all, really) to cultivate and maintain wonderful relationships, which isn’t always realistic. However, they have all done well, as my kids are crazy about my husband and my husband loves my kids dearly. I am a lucky gal because I know it doesn’t always end up this way.
And of course, the kids have had to adapt to each other, too.
I love to watch my kids embrace their new stepbrother as well as watch him embrace my children. Of course, they fight like brothers and sisters – but to me, that means they are comfortable with one another.
Ultimately, we are a happy, blended family. As we continue to go through life together, I hope we can all continue to adapt to one another. I hope I am always someone that my stepson comes to for advice or something to eat. I hope my kids always want to ride my husband’s boat and play with him in the backyard.
Overall, I am just thankful for where we are at today and hope we can all adapt to our blended circumstances as they grow. It won’t always be perfect, but it will be our life. Not only am thankful for the opportunity to parent four children, biological or not, but also I am also thankful to have a man in my life that is willing to take on three additional children and love them like his own.
