Now that we’ve been in Cincinnati for three-fourths of a year, I figure it’s time to get acclimated. I’ve been studying Midwestern nuances, and while my daughter will most likely think these items are all normal, I certainly am still getting used to them. Here’s what I’ve noticed so far:
- Midwestern people aren’t necessarily nosy, they are just more likely to talk to you. Where I come from, we’re taught not to make eye contact. People here just come up and ask questions. My daughter already seems to have mastered the art of embracing strangers.
- “You’re fine” is comparable to the East Coast “No Worries.” People are not being sarcastic when they say, “You’re fine.” Where I come from, the word fine is usually expressed with some tone of sarcasm. Considering I’ve already caught myself saying this response back to people, my daughter will most likely use this phrase as well.
- Soccer and football reign supreme in the sporting world. My daughter will most likely play soccer. I know absolutely nothing about soccer. We didn’t have fields of grass. I don’t know anyone who played soccer OR football. Everyone played basketball and baseball/softball. I have a lot of learning to do.
- Nobody thinks twice about the enormous variety of fast food. When I was a kid, I used to love going on road trips because there were so many cool signs of places I had never heard of. Arby’s. Hardee’s. Bojangles. Taco Bell. Etc. We had White Castle, McDonald’s, and Burger King. White Castle was for special trips to the zoo with my grandfather. McDonald’s was for random nights after a basketball game where my mom didn’t have time or didn’t feel like cooking. And Burger King was a very rare treat at our outdoor mall. Meanwhile, now I feel like I’m now in the fast food capital of the world. My daughter will never have to fret about where and when she will get her next Krispy Kreme.
- People told me this was a big baseball town. But nobody really talks about sports here. Maybe because it’s not polite? I don’t know. Plus, the Bengals are doing extraordinarily well, and while I notice some Bengals gear, nobody really talks about it on Mondays. Maybe it’s because there’s only one team here, so nothing to argue? I’m pretty sure I was involved in at least one sports conversation every single day of my life before moving here. To be honest, I was ready to accept my daughter would become a Reds/Bengals fan. Now I don’t know…
- Waving. If someone waves, or smiles at me, I tend to look behind me to see who they are actually gesticulating towards. My daughter will probably just smile and wave back. Because apparently people just do this to strangers around here.
- My daughter will stand in line. I stand on line.
- If something is twenty minutes away, that’s code for far. For me, twenty minutes away is code for ridiculously close. This might come in handy when my daughter gets her driver’s license down the road. Maybe she won’t want to go anywhere because it’s all too far? Ok, probably not.
- My daughter will probably root for Ohio State. Even if she doesn’t go to Ohio State. Why? I have no idea.
- East side vs. West side is a thing in Cincinnati. It’s a thing in New York, too. It’s also a thing with Biggie and Tupac. At least this is something I’ll be able to share with my daughter. Looks like I’m an East Coaster 4 Life.
