OK, maybe not EVERYTHING. I’d really like to teach my 5 year old to stop eating his boogers, but I don’t have a song for that. Does anyone have a song for that? He genuinely thinks they’re delicious. Anyhoo, as a wannabe poet, music aficionado, and general dilettante, music and song lyrics have influenced my life from way back – my childhood musical memories include hearing my grandfather play fiddle by firelight on dark Christmas nights, and years later going to see David Bowie in his obscure 80’s years in an Appalachian amphitheater. Young Americans on the lawn. With my aunt and her friends drinking box o’ wine. Boom.
Music has always defined and enhanced the most important moments in my life. So it’s perhaps little wonder that I’ve also found (I think solid!) parenting wisdom in lyrics. I bet you have them, too — songs that are integrally part of the fabric of you and what you hope to pass on to your kids. Here are mine.
1. Ripple – The Grateful Dead ~ This entire song is lovely – the way the lyrics and melody perfectly complement each other. I love the first part – “It’s a hand me down / the thoughts are broken / perhaps they’re better left unsung.” But it’s a later passage I hope to somehow communicate to my children.
Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full may it be again.
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men.There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night.
And if you go no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone.
2. The Trees – Rush ~ “There is unrest in the forest / there is trouble with the trees / for the maples want more sunlight and the oaks ignore their pleas.” This little parable – like real life – offers no easy answers. At the end “there’s no more oak oppression / for they passed a noble law / and the trees are all kept equal / by hatchet, axe and saw.”
3. No More Trouble – Bob Marley ~So technically this is reggae and not rock and roll but Bob Marley is too important to omit based on semantics. I learned early on that babies love Bob (the complete boxed set was the only thing that would soothe baby E on long commutes when we got stuck in traffic). And the message in this song is pure and true. “We don’t need no more trouble – what we need is love / to guide and protect us all.”
4. We’re Not Gonna Take It – Twisted Sister / Authority Song – John Mellencamp ~ Because sometimes, well, you just CAN’T take it anymore. As much as I teach my kids at this age that we have rules for (mostly) good reasons, there will be times in life when it’s OK and even necessary to break the rules, to fight authority, even if you suspect that authority always wins.
5. Johnny B. Goode – Chuck Berry ~ The quintessential rock & roll rags to riches fantasy, but I’m not advocating that anyone should be complacent if their kids “never ever learn to read or write so well” even if they can play guitar “just like a ringing a bell.” I. Am all about the literacy. No, the line I appreciate is, “His mother told him someday you will be a man / and you will be the leader of a big ol’ band . . . Maybe someday your name will be in lights / saying Johnny B Goode tonight.” Johnny B. Goode reminds me to believe in dreams, to believe in my kids’ dreams. Even if they are big, sweeping, perhaps unattainable dreams. Maybe even especially then.
6. The Devil’s Right Hand – Steve Earle ~ The song goes, “Mama said a pistol is the Devil’s right hand.” And I think Steve Earle’s Mama is right. While I never expect to change anyone else’s mind, I also won’t apologize for that opinion.
7. Country Home – Neil Young ~ “I’m thankful for my country home / it gives me peace of mind / somewhere I can walk alone / and leave myself behind.” It doesn’t necessarily have to be a country home. Could be a park, a trail, a beach, or a lonely mountain, but sooner or later, everyone will need a place to walk alone and leave the self behind.
8. Uptown Funk – Bruno Mars ~ So I don’t actually know any of the lyrics to this song; I know it involves Michelle Pfeiffer and white gold. Oh and some uptown funk. But my kids (via older neighbor kids) introduced me to THIS, which taught me that 1) Spiderman has mad dance skills (I KNEW it!) and 2) not ALL of the music my 7 year old likes best (aka KidzBop) is awful, even if “Shake It Off” still makes me vurp a little every time.
9. Just a Girl – No Doubt ~ “Take this pink ribbon off my eyes / I’m exposed and it’s no big surprise / don’t you think I know exactly where I stand / this world is forcing me to hold your hand . . . oh I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite so don’t let me have any rights / Oh I’ve had it up to here!” – Because NO girl is “just” a girl and Gwen Stefani lays it out for you plain. While rocking, bien sur.
10. Doesn’t Remind Me – Audioslave ~ This song is more abstract and open to interpretation, but there’s a lot packed into these little lines – “The things that I’ve loved / the things that I’ve lost / the things I’ve held sacred that I’ve dropped.” What I’ll share with my kids – you will love. You will lose. You’ll love again. You’ll hold some things and ideas dearly sacred as a teenager and young adult and later decide they are not such holy cows after all, and I’ll try hard not to remind you about those things, assuming I still have the privilege to be around, nodding in time as you dance to the rhythm and music of your own lives.