Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you got here?
I am the happiest I’ve ever been, but it hasn’t always been this way. I had to struggle, go through trials and tribulations to get where I am – and I believe everything happened for a reason.
I started out my adult life getting married young (young nowadays at 23) and spent six years in the marriage before we had children. I was young and somewhat dumb and spent a lot of that time drinking wine and watching trash television. I usually overdid it on the wine and became very aware that I was an alcoholic. I went through a 12-step program and my new obsession became having a baby.
It took years for us to conceive and with a little help from science, we got pregnant with twins. Twins were difficult (and still are), and I often wonder “Did we do the right thing by utilizing intrauterine insemination, which caused us to have twins?” and “What if we had been patient?”
Things happen for a reason – God believed I could handle twins. And I can.
Nine months later, I conceived on my own and had a baby boy. When I saw the pregnancy test, I was devastated. I thought “Could I handle having three under 18 months?”
Things happen for a reason – God believed I could handle three under three. And I did.
After delivering my sweet baby boy, I found myself really angry. I was sober and suffocated by motherhood. My marriage was strained and I didn’t know if I could handle saying at home with the kids – so I went back to work. I wondered “Did I do the right thing sending my kids to daycare while I worked?”
This is when I started to make questionable decisions and my faith in God was strained. I left my marriage. I wouldn’t have been able to leave my marriage nearly as easily had I not had a secure job that allowed me to find my own place to live. I wondered, “Did I do the right thing by leaving my marriage?” and “Can I make it on my own?”
Things happen for a reason – God provided me a job to take care of myself and my children to get out of a strained marriage.
I immediately got into a relationship with a woman because I thought she was the love of my life; however, it didn’t work out and I was devastated. I didn’t understand why it wouldn’t have worked out because I was destined for this person.
Things happen for a reason – God later put someone in my life that I couldn’t live without – a man who would later bring me closer to God.
I am now happily married and I have an incredible job that I don’t think I would have been able to get if I hadn’t gone back to work when I did. We bought a house, a house I wouldn’t have been able to get had I not met my husband.
I now know that things happen for a reason… and I am thankful I trusted the process.
