It may seem like I know what I am doing, but I actually have no idea. When I was younger, I thought at 35, I would have it all together. But what I am learning is that the older I get, the more I don’t know.
Right now, I am juggling full-time work, part-time school, and four glorious children.
Every day I wake up, I hit the ground running until I collapse on the bed at night. I am running on empty and I am close to burnout.
I post wonderful pictures of my kids on social media. I “like” cute posts and reshare my thoughts. My social media platform is a vision. Perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect kids. However, we know the real truth.
We all have issues that we bury and we don’t let anyone see them. We walk the walk, and talk the talk, but at the end of the day, do we really know what we are doing?
I think it is harmful, what I do to others through social media. I portray myself a certain way when my life isn’t like that. I am a divorcee (don’t even get me started on that topic), a recovering alcoholic, a hot mess mother of four, and I desperately want to show my insufficiencies to the world without sounding whiney or attention-seeking.
I’d love to be more transparent about who I am.
What I stand for. But I think I am still trying to figure that out. I’ve noticed that I actually stand for less now. Everything I thought I knew and believed in my 20s is actually different now. I see all sides of the issue. I just don’t know anymore.
Maybe I am just a 35-year-old mom who doesn’t have it all figured out. Maybe it’s ok to be a hot mess. Maybe it is OK not to know. I just know I am done trying to show the world how great my life is because life is messy. I guess I am ready to live my life more transparently – and honestly, you should, too. Because I am tired of seeing all the perfectness. I compare myself to you and you probably have no idea.
So, you have no idea what you’re doing? Me either. Let’s bond.
